Sunday, 28 July 2013

Stopping breastfeeding - end of an era

So this is somewhere I never imagined I would be 8 months ago when we were having endless breastfeeding problems (most due to undiagnosed tongue tie) with the most incredible pain (forget labour!) on every feed – so would spend the 30 minutes of the feed crying with pain and the next 2 hours crying in preparation of the next feed…

But yet here we are.

At 9 months old and with return-to-work looming in a few weeks we have weaned down from 24 feeds a day (one crazy feeding frenzy day in January!) to one BF first thing in the morning… and in the next week or so even that one is going to have to go.

And I am more sad than I ever thought I would be. So I thought I’d write a list of what I both will and won’t miss :)

Things I will miss:

-          Doof pausing during a feed, coming off and looking up at me to smile before going back on – picture of bliss
-          him stroking my arm as he feeds
-          the quietness and calmness, especially during night feeds
-          the sense of achievement that my body is making something amazing, has produced all the nutrients he needed for the first few months of his life
-          how easy it is – just plug him on and off he goes, no sterilising needed, no clean cups, no boiling kettles, no measuring spoons, no having to make sure you remember to take enough food with you etc
-          eating anything I like and then justifying it to myself - I needed that whole packet of Jaffa cakes/dairy milk/haribo because I'm breastfeeding

Things I won't:

-          him pulling my hair, poking at my eyes, putting his finger up my nose, his little grippy fingers pinching my arm etc etc all while I am a captive audience as I can’t escape him when he’s latched on…
-          the ever present possibility of being bitten... it hasn’t happened yet and he still has no teeth so one very good reason for stopping sooner rather than later before any come through!
-          the paraphernalia associated with BF – the breast pads, the functional bras, constantly changing bra size (since Doof was born I’ve had to change sizes 3 times!) 
-          the agonising pain in the first 6 weeks before his tongue tie was fixed and the associated constant frustration for weeks on end when he couldn’t latch properly
-          having really bad vasospasm during the winter months… o.w.w.w.w. Next time I’m having a summer baby :)
-          the episodes of mastitis (once ended up in hospital on iv antibiotics for 3 days – not great when your baby is only 2 weeks old!) and the regular expressing needed – how soul-destroying it was to have to set my alarm every 2 hours overnight to express when Doof happily slept for 6 hours straight…

Anyway for now I am going to stick with the 6am feed, enjoy the cuddles and closeness and not think about what 2 weeks time will bring.
What about you – any other things you will/won’t or have/haven’t missed when stopping breastfeeding?

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