Thursday, 19 June 2014

Second child...

With only 6 weeks to go (give or take a few either side) I am now starting to get a little nervous about the massive change that's about to happen in our household...

So here is a plea for advice on how to deal the following - from anyone who has more than one child already or anyone who doesn't but still thinks they have good advice :)

1. Feelings of jealousy & sharing of attention between children

Doof will be 21 months when Doofette is born. I've heard people say that if the age gap is less than 2 years there is a lot less jealousy in the long term as the older one can't remember being an only child - but surely at the start that isn't true? Any top tips on how to reduce Doof feeling like he's being displaced? We've bought some toys for Doofette to give him and also a small doll so he has a 'role' to play and can feed his baby when I'm feeding etc but any other tips?

2. How to breastfeed

How do you BF with a crazy toddler running around?! Doof was not the most quick-to-learn (mainly due to his posterior tongue tie I think) and so would take about an hour to feed and would want to feed every 2-3 hours... Obviously no problem with baby number 1 when I had nothing else to do but no idea how it'll work if Doofette is also that slow! I know I could bottle feed etc but I exclusively BF Doof and would love to do the same with Doofette if possible. So other than putting Doof in a baby cage for the duration of each feed, any other tips? He's not quite old enough yet to sit nonstop in front of a tv programme or play consistently by himself for more than 5 minutes.

3. Bath and bedtime

How do you do bath/bedtime when solo? Toddler bath and bed at usual time and just work baby around it? Or did you try and get baby down for a sleep before dealing with tired toddler?


So many things to think about... Obviously people have been coping with multiple kids at the same time for centuries and am sure going with the flow is the best approach. But forewarned is forearmed and so any top tips from anyone who's been through it already would be very much appreciated :)


  1. My best friend is going through all of this too. So I wrote a post dedicated to her and her worries. I managed to do all the above goodness knows how! Bathtime we did together - toddler in big bath, baby next to her in baby bath. Bedtime - I breastfed baby whilst reading to toddler and settling her down - hubby was working a lot when number 2 came. Toddler was very good when I had to feed baby - gave her stuff to occupy her and I was less rigid with a feeding routine. We prepped toddler right from start and involved her as much as poss in every step and made sure everyone paid her attention too when visiting. Good luck!x

    1. Thanks :) combining BF with reading a story sounds good although am going to have to wean Doof sitting on my lap and having a cuddle during story time! I'm definitely hoping to involve D as much as possible with feeding/changing etc as have heard people say that can be really helpful x

  2. Firstly I gave my first child a small gift from the baby to and a note to say how excited the baby was that she was going to be his big sister. I didn't do anything else differently and I never had any issues of jealousy. They are 18 months apart.
    Breastfeeding I didn't do so can't help there
    Bath time! I either bathed them together or sometimes I put the baby to bed and bathed my eldest on her own. I must add I had two very good sleepers so that helped a great deal. They were both in good routines early on, Iv'e been really lucky with all 3 in that area. Everyone is different though and I'm sure if you don't stress and try to relax you will soon find what works best for you x

    1. Thank you - think gift idea is a really nice one although not sure Doof really understands about "presents" yet. But your age gap was even smaller so maybe I should give him more credit!! I have one very bad sleeper already so fingers crossed the next one is better (don't want to tempt fate but she can't really be worse!! lol). Think if D sorted his sleep out then it would be a massive help... x